This is not a joke. There really are Sommeliers for Water

Sommeliers for Water, Hot Sauce, Tea and Rum Are Way Past Wine - Bloomberg:

A wonderful new way for restaurants to con dollars out of mugs with money.

In June, five international water sommeliers judged the second water tasting competition in Guangzhou, China. They swirled, sniffed, and sipped about 70 different brands of the simplest beverage on earth, and awarded gold, silver, or bronze medals.
One of them was Martin Riese, the first and only water sommelier in the U.S, who does exactly what a wine somm does, but with water: understanding its taste complexities, selecting a list of waters from around the world for a restaurant, and pairing them with food. “Most people,” he says tartly, “are doing water wrong.”
You can roll your eyes, but this is a real job, and one of many; there’s a whole new wave of new sommeliers who pour beverages other than wine.
As the image of somms has gone from snooty and supercilious to glamorous and hip, the world’s 236 master wine sommeliers have become bona-fide celebs, like Michelin-starred chefs.
No wonder “somm” is fast becoming the shorthand for just about any knowledgeable specialist in a restaurant who traffics in quaffable tastes and aromas and advises on what goes best with what. Calling yourself a tea somm, for example, underscores the idea that tea deserves the same respect as wine – especially when top examples cost as much as $1,000 a pound.
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