Do wine tasting notes actually help you?

While doing my little research into whether Australia's major wine companies take any notice of Wine Australia's absurd rules about describing where their wines come from, I inevitably came across that strange thing called the tasting note. These descriptions presumably are intended to tell we consumers what we can expect if we buy and drink. But do they actually do so?

To help you judge I did a brief survey of what some of the "experts" had to say about Penfolds St Henri 2013. It presented a confusing picture.

Take colour for a start. Penfolds reckon their wine is "magenta" with a "purple core." Huon Hook, writing for Fairfax, saw "deep, dense, dark red/purple colour". But for Master of wine Andrew Caillard there was nothing deep and dark about it - just "medium dense."

Still, we do not taste the colour. But when it comes to taste we are influenced bya wine's aroma. So what do the experts think abut that?

The official Panfolds tasting note waxes almost lyrical.

A heightened ethereal/subliminal fruit lift... hovering above, cleverly propelled by just the right amount of formics and V.A. Black jelly-bean and star anise notes arise, augmented by fig paste, dried herbs and spice – cinnamon and thyme..With air, scents of freshly-cured corned beef with a carpaccio-like freshness, replete with capers/vinegar/brine.

Australian retailer First Choice just goes in for a little plagiarism noting the"aromas of black jellybean, star anise, fig paste, dried herbs and spice." For Huon Hook "the bouquet is subdued and discreet, with fresh earth and discreet spice notes" while Andrew Caillard's nose detects "inky espresso aromas" but it is "intense blackberry" not Decanter's "full bodied blueberry." Everyone to his own nose I suppose.

When it comes to describing the taste - or the palate as the reviewer csll it - Penfolds reckons its wine is "Youthful. Structurally expansive – large-framed/amply-dimensioned! St Henri aims to please - pickled beetroot for the vegetarians; gamey venison and the blackened crust of roast beef for the carnivores. Wild blackberry and a dark-fruited compote benevolently offer a generosity of fruit sweetness.An almost silky tarriness coupled with mouth-watering acidity create a texturally appealing and integrated mouthfeel. Voluptuous/Voluminous/Velvety."

Taking the company view is again good enough for First Choice. It tells its customers about the "pickled beetroot, gamey venison and the crust of roast beef with wild blackberry and dark-fruit compote for sweetness. Voluptuous, voluminous and velvety." The Decanter review writes how "this multi-regional blend of 96% Shiraz and 4% Cabernet Sauvignon boasts a seductively sweet fragrance of herbs and spices followed by a full-bodied blueberry-like opulence, with a note of tar and balsamic complexity behind a firm acid spine."

Huon Hook prefers to tell us that  "the palate is where the fireworks really happen. Its silky smooth, supremely elegant and fruit-sweet within its casing of fine powdery tannins. Soft and fleshy, elegant and not as full-bodied as other Penfolds reds this year. A lovely, lovely wine."

The Master of Wine, who advises the Dan Murphy chain about such matters, is not to be outdone. Andrew Caillard finds:

Inky textured wine with lovely fruit complexity and balance. Well-concentrated yet modulated blackberry pastille espresso flavours, looseknit graphite/ fine-boned chalky textures and roasted almond notes. Finishes chalky firm with blackberry pastille, inky notes. Delicious and classic in style with superb vinosity and fruit complexity. Should develop very well over the next ten years or so.

Now how all those words help tell you what the 2013 St Henri is actually like is beyond me.

I guess you just choose your reviewer, pay your money and take your chance.